Wednesday, May 16, 2018

CFS Satire: Top Ten Ways To Get Across The Blocked CSX Railroad Crossing At Emmett Avenue And Creason Street in Bowling Green, Ky.

(Disclaimer: These ways are for satirical purposes only.  Please not attempt any of these ideas.)

10.) Call 911 and have The Medical Center AirEvac Lifeteam Air Ambulance pick you up and fly you across. Worry about paying the astronomical high cost bill later on.  But don't wait too long, you might get sued.

9.) Pole vault across. You can borrow a pole vault stick from WKU's track team down the street on campus.

8.) Become a human cannon ball and have someone shoot you out of cannon across the tracks.

7.) Dig a tunnel underneath like the illegal Mexicans do at the boarder.

6.) Contract a crane from Western Kentucky Crane to lift you up and carry you across.

5.) Have someone with a large drone that is able to lift over 200 lbs pick you up and fly you across.

4.) Stand at the tracks naked and have the Bowling Green Police Department pick you up and somehow get you to the other side in order to drive you to Western State Hospital in Hopkinsville or the Sixth Floor at The Medical Center at Bowling Green for a 48 hour observation.

3.) Stand outside at night waving your hands, hoping that an alien space craft will pick you up and take you to the other side.  Just watch out for that anal probe though.

2.)  Hold up sign like a homeless person.  Instead of asking for money, beg the engineer to back the train up and let you across.

1.) Build a ramp and jump across on your motorcycle, bicycle or car, Evil Knievel style!




Sunday, April 15, 2018

I Remember Fox News Anchor Shepard Smith Well While At Ole Miss In The Early 80's

    I recently read a wire article by The Washington Post that was published last month in our local newspaper (Bowling Green Daily, Ky., News). The article was about Fox News anchor Shepard Smith, 54, and his long career in television although he is openly gay on a network that espouses Christian conservative values.  After all these years, I'm still intrigued that I know Shep personally and about his humongous success at a major television network that is watched throughout the world.  Although, I am not a fan of Shep's, nonetheless I am happy for him and his success in broadcast journalism.

A frat pic of Shep in the 1983 Ole Miss annual
     I think most of us who he knew Shep while attending the University of Mississippi (Ole Miss) in Oxford, Miss., in the early 80's are proud of his major success in the big city of New York along with his incredible world-wide fame and his long career in broadcast journalism with a reported net worth of $20 million and making a $10 million a year.  I sent him a long e-mail once probably in the late 90's congratulated him on his new position and some other things and all he was wrote back was two words-"Hotty Toddy!" Lol.

     Smith joined the network in 1996 when it was founded and just came out of the closet of being gay several years ago.  I think a lot of people suspected it a long time ago. I had no idea he was gay while in college.  I figure it's his life, let him do what he wants to do.  It's his choice of lifestyle. Also, he was even married a while to a woman after he left Ole Miss when he began working in his broadcast career in Florida and California and then eventually landed at Fox in NYC.  He has no children though. I remember Shep who was from Holly Springs, Miss., as always friendly and smiled. He always spoke to me when we crossed each other's paths on campus or while we were in journalism classes together at Farley Hall.  He always wore an Izod golf shirt with the alligator emblem on it, blue jeans and Nike tennis shoes.  He was a tall, skinny young fellow then with dark brown hair and thick eyebrows.  We went through orientation together and went to some of those initial frat parties geared towards the incoming freshmen during those three hot and muggy days in the Summer of 1982 in the "Mississippi Deep South."  I was amazed how Shep knew my name even before I officially introduced myself to him.  He acted like he had known me my whole life.

Our freshmen pics in the 1983 Ole Miss annual (Shep on far left and me on far right)

Sigma Pi Frat at Ole Miss, Homecoming, Fall of 1982 (me holding the beer can)
     I also took a broadcast journalism class under his late mentor and professor at Ole Miss, Dr. Jim Pratt.  And I was Dr. Pratt's work-study student in the Summer of 1983. Dr. Pratt didn't feel he needed a work-study student
and I don't think he was too happy with me that summer either. Regardless, I made it through that rough period with him and I was given a certificated for being a "Tel-Ole-Miss Pioneer" when the summer terms were over with.  I helped out and worked at Ole Miss' first journalism television studio which was brand new then.  I saw Shep in action one time after anchored the college news program.  He had blue jeans on with a shirt, tie and a blue blazer coat on. He was upset about something because the broadcast did not go quite the way he wanted it to and he slung his tie and coat off after it was over with.  Apparently, he took his broadcast journalism very seriously even back then and had a bit of a temper too.
My freshman year frat pic, Fall 1982, Sigma Pi

      We had both joined fraternities (we were not in the same fraternity) and even dated the same sorority girl once momentarily also.  I was jealous of him and I couldn't believe she had a date with him earlier in the evening prior to her date with me later on during Homecoming night. However, nothing came of it and it wouldn't have mattered anyway as we all know now.

Sunday, March 25, 2018

Wild Bucks, Honky Tonks And Other Crazy Stories From The American South: Kentucky Fire & Ice And Deadly I-65

An On-Going Short-Story Fictional Series

By Galen A. Smith Sr.


     Joe began to slow down as he approached the blue flashing lights that shot out blinding beams of brightness from atop of the Kentucky State Police cars past just north of Elizabethtown, Ky., heading towards Louisville. As he approached the three car pile-up in the left lane, all he could see were three KSP officers walking around in the cold dark, morning and as smoke still rose from the from the engines underneath the hoods, holding flashlights looking into the severely smashed up and banged up cars to see if anyone was still alive in the vehicles.

     No emergency medical service vehicles, fire trucks and firemen nor tow motor trucks had arrived yet to clear the victim's out of the vehicles or removed the wrecked vehicles. It was an eerie feeling that Joe Rogan felt in the pit of his stomach as he was driving towards a seminar in Indianapolis. He had left Bowling Green, Ky., at 3 a.m. CST since he had to be at there in Indianapolis at 9 a.m. EST. Luckily, for Joe, he had arrived just in time before the traffic heading north would be backed up for miles and miles and hours. Because he knew that KSP and local authorities would have to "work the scene." In other words, they would have to recreate the accident and try to figure out what happened and they would to take all sorts of measurements for official statistics, legal reports, documents and records that would be available for Kentucky local and state courts, attorneys, insurance companies and the Department of Transportation (DOT) in Washington, D.C.

      Even though Joe was now retired and in his mid-70's but he still liked to keep up on the latest news in his field of study and his career by attending seminars and giving talks to keep up with the current technology and findings in his field of archaeology. Today, he would be giving a talk to a group of other archaeologists from across the country and university professors on this particular day about Kentucky being known for its historic Indian hunting grounds. Finally, after passing the accident scene, he was shaken up a little bit because he still did not know yet if anyone had been killed. He began to more slower than usual and more careful because he knew that speed and driver inattention such as cell phones and texting were the major factors causing vehicles crashes and deaths on roads and interstates these days. Also, he knew weather factors can play a major role in accidents and deaths too such as rain, snow and ice. But instead of turning the radio back on, Joe's mind drifted back into the past.

     He saw himself as new graduate with an archaeology degree from the University of Kentucky in Lexington in 1965. He saw himself sitting behind a desk in a small basement room at one of the Kentucky State Capitol buildings in Frankfort smoking a cigarette. He was propped back in his chair with his feet on the desk thinking he had made it to the big time. He was already freshly out of college with a state job working as the newly appointed state archaeologist. The previous state archaeologist had suddenly died of heart attack in his mid-40's because he was overweight and a heavy smoker and drinker. Apparently, the previous state archaeologist had allowed let the stress of the job get to him.

     It was in the mid-1960's and the DOT in cooperation with the Commonwealth of Kentucky were in the process of building Interstate 65 from the Kentucky state line at the border of Tennessee all the way to the Ohio River bridge that crossed over to the State of Indiana in downtown Louisville. Joe had inherited a monster of a job and did not know what he had taken on or got himself into. No wonder the other Kentucky state archaeologist had died early with a heart attack and stress, Joe had quickly realized. Joe would be called out several times at week to Indian burial sites and encampments along the pathway of I-65 during its construction.

     One of the largest burial sites that the backhoes and bulldozers dug into was the north bank of the Green River in Hart County. Joe was called down to that site where he spent several days documenting and pulling out skeletons remains and bones as well all sorts of indian artifacts. He and his small staff of interns from the UK had to work fast because the state and the U.S. government could not afford to hold up construction and work on the interstate since it was on a timeline and deadline. He had strict order to "document it and seal it," so construction could start up ASAP. Especially, because of the crazy Kentucky weather, construction crews had to work extremely fast during the good weather conditions during the spring, summer and fall so they could get much as done as possible.

     Even though Joe considered himself to be a strictly a scientist and non-believer at the time, he later converted to Catholicism. Now, in his retirement years, Joe attends mass every week in Bowling Green where he and his wife decided to retired a few years ago, joined the Knights of Columbus and serves as a usher. He has had his house blessed by two priests from the Fathers of Mercy out at South Union, Ky., and goes to confession at least twice a year. Also, he prays the Rosary every so often also and says a "Our Father" prayer everyday driving down the road. However, he still feels some guilt and he is sometimes superstitious about the Indian burial sites because of his role in dealing with the sites that were covered up along the way of the building of I-65. He still hears rumors and tales that Indian spirits are roaming the woods surrounding I-65 and that many spirits are angry about what's happened to their burial grounds. The spirits being are blamed by some people for the hundreds of vehicle accidents and deaths on I-65 a.k.a. "Deadly I-65" every year. Joe says you can still hear talk about superstitious tales and rumors throughout the Commonwealth of Kentucky. Some people claimed that the Commonwealth of Kentucky tried to cover up these Indian burial sites by hiding it from the press because they didn't want to the public find out about them. Because it could cause outrage with the public especially among the Indian reservations out West and it would slow down or put a halt on the construction of I-65. But Joe will often dispel these rumors as "hogwash" when people ask him about it.

     When Joe gives his talks at seminars and local churches and community organizations around the Commonwealth of Kentucky and other states, he will educate the groups about Kentucky being known as Indian hunting ground with many shell mound sites found along the Green River and where they also buried their dogs. At Kentucky's Indian Knoll site, he says that 67,000 artifacts were uncovered, including 4,000 projectile points, and twenty three dog burials, seventeen of which were well preserved. Some dogs were buried alone, others with their masters; some with adults, male and female, and others with children. He also says that Archaic dogs were medium-sized and stood about 14–18 inches tall at the shoulder, and are very likely to have been related to the wolf. Dogs had a special place in the lives of Archaic people. And he says that the Cherokee believed that dogs are spiritual, moral, and sacred and the Yuchi are another specific tribe known to have lived around the Green River.  Joe says that The Indian Knoll site is older than 5,000 years, and it is located along the Green River. He also tells them while there's evidence of earlier settlement, this area was most heavily occupied from approximately 3000–2000 BC, when the climate and vegetation were nearing modern conditions. The Green River floodplain provided a stable environment, which eventually led to agricultural development. The abundant food resources and nearby mussel bed made it ideal for Kentucky natives to permanently settle.

     After Joe gave his talk at this particular scholarly seminar at the Hyatt Regency Airport in Indianapolis, he went over to the bar afterwards and ordered a "Kentucky Fire & Ice." The bartender asked,  "What's that?" Joe said, "It's three shots of Kentucky Makers Mark bourbon and three cubes of ice." And the bartender looked at him funny and said, "We usually just call that a triple shot Makers on the rocks." And then the bartender asked Joe, "Where did you come up with that name?" Joe said, "You don't want to know."


“This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.”

Thursday, February 22, 2018

Wild Bucks, Honky Tonks And Other Crazy Stories From The American South: The Strange Woman On Indianola Street In Bowling Green, Ky.

An On-Going Short-Story Fictional Series
By Galen A. Smith Sr.

    It was February 22, 1988, exactly 30 years-ago today.

    Bob Richards had just moved to Bowling Green about a month before and landed his first job as a life insurance salesman right out of college for a small company from Louisville.  It wasn't exactly his dream job but it was all he could find at the time since the economy wasn't humming liked it used to be in Southcentral Kentucky.  Several factories in the area had closed down during the downturn of the economy in the 80's and had laid off a bunch of employees.  Spring would be arriving soon, so Bob would be stepping up his door to door sales pitches and tactics  But on this particular day, he decided go ahead and go door knocking anyway since the sun was shining and the temperature was unseasonably warm.  He walked down Indianola Street knocking on doors and having them slammed on his face.  However, he approached one house that seemed very strange.  When he walked on the front porch, he could see a large picture of Jesus hanging on the wall through the window. He also saw a sign attached to the wall that said, "No Smoking or Cursing Allowed!"

    Bob decided to go ahead and knock on the door.  When he did, a tall, thin, middle-age woman came to the door with heavy makeup on and dyed red hair.  Her face was not very attractive but Bob could tell that she seemed she have lived a hard life.  Bob introduced himself and asked her if she was interested if any life insurance.  She told him that she was uninsurable because she has had two open heart surgeries.  She invited Bob to come in and he accepted the offer. After a few minutes of discussion at the kitchen table, Bob looked up and pointed to the wall and said, "Are you Catholic?"

   "No son, I'm Pentecostal," she said.

"Oh," Bob said, "I just thought maybe you were Catholic since you had a lot of pictures of Jesus hanging on the wall."

    "No honey, he's just my best friend and he loves me very much," she said.  "I've actually met Jesus before."

   "Really? You mean, you've actually met Jesus? You're kidding, right?" Bob asked.
   "No, I mean it," the woman said.

   "Well, can you tell me where you met him at?" Bob asked curiously.

   The woman told Bob it happened when she was having her first heart attack.  She had told her son to help her get to the bed.  When he did, she passed out and he called 911. She said she felt as if she was out for a long time.  She said that she also felt her spirit leave her body.

  "When my spirit left my body, I went straight to my mansion.  It was a beautiful mansion and I was standing in the middle of it.  It had no furniture.  I was saying, 'It's so beautiful and another a man was there.  But I could not see the man's face. I was telling him, 'This is mine.'  And man kept saying, 'I don't think you are one of us.' And I said, 'I am too and I have lived here before.'"  She said that some other people were in the mansion too and they had black hair, curly hair and blonde hair.  She she their feet were not touching the floor and neither were hers.  She said heard a voice called out to her and said, "There is 'The One' who will know if you're one of us or not."  She said there was a crystal clear walkway circling around the mansion with pink bricks on top of it.  The voice then said that they would check the bricks first. One of the persons inside walks outside of the mansion goes over and picks up a pink brick off the walkway to examine it.  And then the voice says, "This is not enough.  I will take you back to 'The One' who will know if you are one of us or not."

   The woman goes on to tell the story to Bob. "So they walked us behind the mansion together to a little wood shed.  We went inside the shed and on a bale of hay laid Baby Jesus.  The voice then spoke in many languages and in other tongues."  The woman said she was awe of Baby Jesus and that she could see no ends to him.  All sort of sparkles of magnificent, bright colors were dancing around his head and body.  She said all she could see when Baby Jesus rose from the bale of hay was his robe, sandals and long hair.

   "His hair hung over his face and it was white as snow," she said.  The baby laid his hand on her shoulder and said, "Yes, she has lived here before but I will send you back because it is not finished," Baby Jesus said.

  "But I do not want to go back! Please do not send me back!"  she said. "All of sudden, I woke up in a hospital room and I had open heart surgery with a lot stitches in my chest. And I kept telling everyone, I had an out of body experience."

  After a while, Bob thank the woman for sharing her story with him.  He told her it was time for him to leave.  He walked out the front door and walked down Indianola Street to Broadway Avenue where his car was parked.  After he got into car, he decided to drive over the Little Brown Jug and have some beers with cheese and crackers.  He also decided that he would not tell his wife that evening when got home about the crazy story he had heard.  He drank his beer, put a quarter in the jukebox and put on some Hank Williams Jr. and lit a cigarette. For a brief moment, he tried to forget about his encounter with the strange woman on Indianola Street.

“This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.”

Friday, February 16, 2018

Lent 2018: Fish On Fridays



I have been a Catholic convert since 1990. So basically for 28 years now.
It was not an easy process. I began the process of becoming a Roman Catholic in 1986 after my wife and I married in a civil ceremony outside the church. Because she was married before, she had to get an annulment. Once her annulment was granted, I still had to go through the RCIA classes (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults). I attended for four years in a row. I was getting doubtful and losing hope. However, we had to work on some things in our marriage. So we did.



Finally, the day arrived and I became a full-fledge, confirmed Catholic! We were married in a sacramental marriage ceremony and I received my sacraments being confirmed. Through the years, I have had a great appreciation for my Catholic faith and Church. Of course, I have not always been perfect and I have failed at times as a Catholic. Even during some past Lenten seasons, I have not done some things right.


Sometimes when you’re working in rural Southcentral Kentucky, it’s hard to find a place that serves fish. (Catholics can eat fish on Fridays during Lent but not meat) One time I stopped at a little country store when I was in a hurry and went inside and I asked the lady behind the counter, if they had any fish to serve for lunch. She laughed at me and said, “Honey, we only serve sliced baloney and liver cheese sandwiches.” I said, “Okay, then. I will just get a bag of chips and a soft drink.” Then she asked me why I wanted fish when I was checking out. I told her that I was Catholic and that we could only eat fish on Fridays during Lent. I don’t know if she understood what I meant or not and I went about my business.


So, every time I would stop at that particular country store later on through the course of the years even when was not during Lent, she would laugh and say, “Here comes ole “Fish On Fridays’” when I came through the front door. And we would both get a big laugh out of it! Happy Lent everyone and God Bless! Remember, “Fish On Fridays!” Galen A Smith Sr

Sunday, January 28, 2018

"I, Tonya" Beautifully Done And Takes Ice Skating Movie Scenes To A Monumental Level

By PATTY SMITH*
CFS Guest Writer

The Regal Theater 12 in Bowling Green, Ky., was the scene of the recently released movie, "I, Tonya" about the life and almost career of Tonya Harding.
The ladies in the audience, along with myself, held their hands to their mouths and gasped as they watched Tonya's mother, played by Allison Janney, slap Tonya upside the head and throw things at her and slam her against the wall. As the movie progressed, nothing was ever good enough for the mother of the brilliant young skater, who began her career at age four. The trainer at first (played by Julianna Nicholson) did not want to take Tonya on as a student at such a young age, but watching her skate, she instantly changed her mind. Tonya worked hard even as a toddler and progressed through the months. Her mother supported her financially, but she never let her daughter forget the sacrifices that she made so she could skate.
Early on Tonya's dream was just to be in the Ice Escapade's (and she did win a title in her teen years, along with several more important titles).
Tonya's problems intensified when she met Jeff Gilloly when she was 15. She was love struck like a bolt from the blue and against her Mom's wishes the couple moved in together and later married. Having lived with her Mom's abuse, nothing changed for Tonya, however. As she and Jeff's marriage declined she would show up with bruises on her face. The police came to their small house many times, and as the film progressed, the abuse her mother handed her was nothing compared to what Jeff could do. Although he supported her career, Jeff continued to abuse Tonya.

Later in the film, despite all the abuse, Tonya's skills became more and more discernible. She was the first American skater who could do the "triple axle" and very hard move which included starting on the left foot, spinning three times in the air and landing on the right foot. It was amazing to watch.
Tonya's nemesis of the film was the wealthy number one skater whom she befriended and really set out to beat, skater Nancy Kerrigan. Tonya could have done this alone, but her husband Jeff and his friend (supposedly Tonya's "body guard", a fat and stupid man, played by Paul Walter Hauser devised a plan to get Nancy out of the run for the Olympics to ensure that Tonya would get a first place in the event. Originally the plan was just to send threatening letters to Nancy. But Hauser decided to hire a man from Detroit who for $1,000 would go into the arena where Nancy was practicing and "hobble" her legs. This he did, but was eventually caught.
The movie centered around who had done this deed, and did Tonya have anything to do with it. The final trial is in the final minutes of the movie as Tonya is tried and found guilty. Her sentence, to me, was overwhelmingly over the top. But I won't spoil the ending for you.
The movie was so beautifully done and the skate scenes were monumental. I wondered to myself if Margot Robbie who portrayed Tonya had done all the scenes herself, as you will wonder also.
I, Tonya, is a movie about a poor little girl who had the top talent as an ice skater and could have had an amazing career that ended when she was only 23. Did she get to participate in the winter Olympics in 1994, despite all that was going on? If you don't remember, or if you are too young to remember, go see "I, Tonya". Decide for yourself if Nancy Kerrigan was the victim, or Tonya Harding? I decided... you will too. "I, Tonya" is playing at the Regal 12 in Bowling Green this week. Go see it.

(*This is the first time in the history of CFS, that a guest writer has appeared in this blog since it began in 2010-Galen A. Smith Sr.)

"I, Tonya" Is A Very Good Movie And It Is Worth Every Penny To Pay To Go See

     I saw the new movie “I, Tonya” yesterday at the theater and I really liked it. It is a very good movie and it is worth every penny to pay to go see. Even if it costs us $22 for on-line tickets and $5 for a box of Junior Mints for my wife and me, was still worth it.  I learned a few new things about Tonya Harding and her ice skating career saga as well as her personal life while being entertained at the same time.
There was a sparse crowd in the theater. But for me, that makes the movie even more enjoyable. Because I tend to have anxiety in crowded movie theaters, I like the end seat of a row and I prefer small crowds. A less crowded theater always makes the movie more enjoyable and comfortable for me. But the only problem here in Bowling Green, I heard if a certain movie is not drawing many movie goers in attendance, most likely the movie will not hang around very long. (But hey, I got to see it first before it moves on away from Bowling Green and Southcentral Kentucky!)
I thought the movie was well done. My favorite scene was at the beginning when Tonya Harding arrives on the ice at the rink as a little girl and she was all dressed up in a little blue coat with a hood over her head. She had her ice skates on. She was a very cute little girl and was all smiles and happy. Her crass mom was smoking a cigarette while standing on the ice while trying to convince the skating instructor to take little Tonya on as one of her students. The instructor kept insisting that Tonya was too young. After a while and without much success, her mom tells Tonya to go ahead and start skating. Once she does, the instructor takes quick notice of little Tonya and her ability to skate at such as young age. And the rest is history.
For me, I loved the movie and I found it very entertaining. It was also somewhat funny but sad too at at the same time.  There's some cussing and domestic violence in some of the scenes. I kept trying to think in my head while watching the movie what I was doing when all of this was going on in 1994. I know where I was living and I know where I was working too. And I remember it being a major, worldwide news story in the beginning of 1994 prior to the dawn of the internet age and the Winter Olympics Games and prior to the O.J. Simpson drama being played out on TV in the Spring of 1994. This was in the days when television were first starting to get into all of the major worldwide media frenzy stories with all of their new computer and global satellite equipment and technology. I remember I had recorded some video footage of the newscasts on VHS. I still have the tapes somewhere in my house here but I'm not sure where they're at and if they even still work.  (Wow, it's been 24 years now since all of this happened! I can't believe it! Time sure does fly!) Anyway, I'll have to dig them out someday and see if they work. Because now my interest is peaked about the Tonya Harding ice skating saga again. I've never known much about Tonya Harding except what I saw her on the news and all of this being played back then. I know she did stop over in Bowling Green once around 2008 or so and played pool at one of our local pool halls.  I saw it on the news here on or Facebook or something like that.  I think she was playing in some kind of pool tournament publicity circuit tour that was touring all around the country.  That was about 10 years ago or so I suppose.  I didn't really pay much attention to it or what she said when she was in Bowling Green. I do remember that I was somewhat intrigued about her visit here though. However, I've always felt sorry for Tonya Harding and I remember did not really think much of the other skater, Nancy Kerrigan. who was the one who got her knee bashed in prior to the 1994 Winter Olympic Games by some stupid boob supposedly paid off by Jeff Gillooly (Tonya's husband at the time) and his fat friend, Shawn Eckhardt.
However, I'm going to cut to to the chase here and make it short and simple. The bottom line is, I don’t think Tonya Harding was involved in the planning of the bashing of Nancy’s Kerrigan’s knee prior to the Winter Olympics Games in 1994. I think it was strictly planned by those idiots-her former husband, Jeff Gillooly and his fat friend, Shawn Eckhardt, who was supposedly her bodyguard.  (Yeah, right! What a joke! Lol.) Anyway, they are the ones who hired those two stupid boobs to do the dirty work and botched up job of bashing Nancy's Kerrigan's knee.  Again, what idiots and how stupid can stupid get, right?